We reviewed almost the entire Lotzza Motzza line (we’re still hunting for their buffalo chicken option, and our office oven is too small to cook their 16″ pizzas) before we finally acknowledged that the name of the brand is actually Brew Pub; Lotzza Motzza is just one of their sub-lines. But as true Midwesterners, we call those suckers Lotzza Motzza, and that’s a hard habit to break.
But break it we must, because we’ve finally been stretching out of Brew Pub’s Lotzza Motzza pizza sub-line, moving into the Hearty Artisan Crust side of their offerings. And really, this isn’t nearly as catchy as saying Lotzza Motzza over and over again. In comparison, Hearty Artisan Crust just sounds boring.
But boring these pizzas are not. Brew Pub puts a whole lotta love into every one of their pies. So today, we’re chuffed as chips (to steal a line from Animal Crossing‘s Blathers) to be checking out the Brew Pub Hearty Artisan Crust Supreme Pizza.
So let’s cook this pizza pie!
Heating this is simple. Preheat your oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit, then pop the pizza in for about 25 minutes (we recommend 21 for Lotzza Motzza pizzas, but the Hearty Artisan Crust pies are thicker and require just a little bit more cook time as a result). You can toss that directly on the oven rack if you’d like to, but we always use a baking sheet, and we rarely encounter problems. (If you want to read the full cooking instructions straight off the back of the packaging, scroll down to the bottom of this review and check out the package scan.)
So, we went into this knowing we were going to love it. Brew Pub’s pizzas tend to range from great to outrageously incredible — they don’t dabble in mediocrity or even the lower end of the good side of the spectrum. While the Hearty Artisan Crust pizzas tend to live in the shadow of their Lotzza Motzza brethren, they still put up a fight in the world of frozen pizzas. You can buy any pizza that says Brew Pub on the package and know you’re getting quality.
But it is our solemn duty to review as many of these as possible, so we’re still going to go through this line one by one (and we’re going to have a whole lot of fun doing it — you can’t stop us, fun police!)
Now, the last time we tried a Hearty Artisan Crust pizza, we thought it was like a DiGiorno’s pizza with the quality control knob cranked to 11. This supreme pizza, though, is so much more than that.
A lot of pizzas throw around the term “supreme,” but that can range from just having three meats to including a whole pile of veggies. So where does this one fall on that spectrum? Well, this is definitely on the generous side, with sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, green olives, and a grilled fajita blend (which seems to include onions and green and red bell peppers). Yeah, supreme was the right word to use here.
And these ingredients are extremely high in quality. The sausage sings. The pepperoni is super rich. The peppers come ready to party. Even the green olives, which we don’t normally care for, have brought their A game. This is an outstanding batch of ingredients, and it really elevates this to the next level.
And then there’s the crust. The last time we reviewed a Brew Pub pizza, we described the crust as “DiGiorno-plus.” Well, this crust ends up being way better than that description might depict. Sure, there’s a little bit of DiGiorno hiding in the cracks here, but the flavor is outstanding. This crust has some sweeter undertones, which really contrast well against the saltier meat combo (and those green olives) here.
And all of this is topped with seemingly unending amounts of mozzarella cheese.
Our one complaint is that, compared with absolutely everything else on this pizza, the mushrooms are kind of bland. They’re diced small and they have that rubbery consistency like they came from a can. While the amount of mushrooms here is small enough that we really didn’t much notice until we specifically hunted for one, this is the one flaw in an otherwise perfect pizza — and we really mean that; even with low-end mushrooms, this pizza is outstanding.
And then there’s the real bad news. This isn’t made for dieters. We went into this review after a particularly lean week, and we’re still trying to wrap our heads around how many calories we just ate. So let’s do some math. The package says that 1/6 of the pizza is a serving, and a single serving contains 350 calories (130 from fat) and 740 mg of sodium. We’re going to be honest, our reviewer felt it was their duty to eat half the pizza in a sitting.
So if you crunch some numbers, you end up with 2,100 calories (780 from fat) and 4,440 mg of sodium per pizza. Our half-pizza serving contains 1,050 calories (390 from fat) and 2,220 mg of sodium. While it’s totally worth having a momentary lapse in judgement and plowing through one of these pizzas occasionally, you definitely shouldn’t make it a regular part of your meal rotation. In fact, you shouldn’t even eat these as often as we do at Freezer Meal Frenzy. Do as we say, not as we do…
Look, you already know the Brew Pub Hearty Artisan Crust Supreme Pizza is a winner. In fact, you probably knew that before you ever clicked on this review. What you maybe didn’t expect was that this ended up being one of the best frozen pizzas we’ve ever eaten. Yes, the mushrooms suck (and that kills us to say because we love mushrooms), but there aren’t many of them, and even if you find one you can pick it off. But the rest of this pizza is pretty much perfect in every way. We do hope Brew Pub ups their mushroom game at some point in the future, because they’re on the brink of perfection here. Even so, eating a slice of this pizza is like being transported to the gates of Heaven itself. If you don’t believe us, you’ll just have to try this incredible pizza for yourself and let the chips fall where they may.
To learn more about the nutrition content, ingredients, or cooking instructions for this Brew Pub frozen pizza, check out our package scan below.
