It’s been a while since we’ve reviewed a Lotzza Motzza pizza (it looks like it’s been about six months since we checked out their plain pepperoni pizza). We’re huge fans of the brand, and we really loved plowing through every Lotzza pizza we could find. But then, inevitably, we ran out. Sure, there are probably a few we haven’t tried, hiding in old freezers somewhere, buried behind mounds of forgotten frozen shrimp, but for the most part, we’ve sampled a vast majority of what Lottzza Motzza makes.
But then we saw a ray of light guiding us to the pizza section of our local grocery store, as if a sign from the heavens. That’s when we discovered the Lotzza Motzza Chicken Bacon Ranch Pizza, which we’re reviewing today. We double, nay, triple-checked the site to make sure we’d never tasted this glorious concoction, and as it turns out, we’d somehow overlooked it.
Oh the joy!
Cooking up one of these beautiful pies is a cinch. Preheat your oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit, then pop the pizza in for about 21 minutes. The package says to cook this right on the center oven rack, but we always use a baking sheet. These pizzas contain gobs of gooey cheese, and you wouldn’t want that melting all over the inside of your oven, would you? Of course not. (If you want to read the full baking instructions straight off the packaging, scroll to the bottom of this review and check out the package scan.)
Now, don’t get us wrong here, we think every Lotzza Motzza pizza we’ve ever tried has been fantastic. However, we do think they’re at their best when they make use of red sauce and traditional ingredients like sausage. While their slightly-off-the-beaten-path pizzas are still good, we think those aren’t really where Lotzza shines brightest.
We’d say this particular pizza is a good example of this. While this is still an amazing pizza that leaves most of its competitors in the dust, we’d still rather be munching on a classic sausage or even a plain cheese pizza from LM. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore this pizza.
Our only complaint about this pizza is that the ranch sauce isn’t as good as it could be. It’s not bad — heck, it’s not even mediocre — but it can’t hold a candle to their amazing, slightly spicy red sauce.
That said, the chicken is used really well here, and the bacon is unbelievable. While the bacon comes in crumbles, it actually manages to lead the flavor, even with everything else being so flavorful. It has an incredibly potent-yet-fresh flavor to it that really stands out. While some frozen foods use bacon that tastes a little stale, this stuff has an almost “straight-off-the-pig” taste to it. It’s delightful.
Even so, we’d be lying if we said that the cheese wasn’t the main draw here — it’s in the name, for crying in our pizza! And let’s be real, not once in the history of the universe — nay, in the many histories of the multiverse — has Lotzza Motzza ever failed to deliver on the promise of loads of delicious mozzarella cheese. This is not the pizza to break that impressive streak, folks. What’s here is classic Lotzza Motzza. It’s stretchy, delicious, and layered on thicker than most would dare. We’ve loved it since our very first bite, and we love it still.
We’re sure you’re not expecting this to be a diet-friendly meal. Come on, this is Lotzza Motzza we’re talking about. But if you were expecting that for some reason, you’re going to be hugely, immensely disappointed. Just one serving contains 350 calories (130 from fat) and 1,070 mg of sodium, and the package considers 1/5 of the pizza to be a serving. That means that if you cut this into eighths, like a normal person, then eating two slices will put you over that.
So let’s do some quick math. The full pizza contains 1,750 calories (650 from fat) and 5,350 mg of sodium, so half the pizza contains 875 calories (325 from fat) and 2,675 mg of sodium. Get your treadmills out, because you’re going to have to really work hard to make up for all this.
The Lotzza Motzza Chicken Bacon Ranch Pizza might not be the best pizza in the LM lineup, but it’s still better than most of the other pizzas you’ll find in the freezer aisle. There’s just nothing else like a Lotzza Motzza pizza, and even when they’re not on their A-game, they still knock it out of the park. Michael Jordan is still Michael Jordan on an off day. Tony Hawk still shreds at his worst. Lotzza Motzza just makes the pizza version of that. If you want an absolutely delicious pizza — and you’re willing to down a few hundred extra calories — then pick up absolutely anything that has the Lotzza Motzza logo stamped on the packaging. You won’t be disappointed.
To learn more about the nutrition content, ingredients, or cooking instructions for this frozen pizza, check out our package scan below.
